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Ghosted: The Unanswered Questions

November 11, 2016

 

Photo via :  @Jacquiecooks from Twenty20

 

Ever dated someone and thought things were going in the right direction? Then one day out of the blue you stop getting phone calls or text messages from this person, and when you try to communicate with them they stop responding. Well, welcome to ghosting:  when someone you’re dating cuts you off completely without any explanation. In other words being cold, and not caring about the other person’s feelings.

 

Millennials have the pressures of school and getting a career. We tend to focus on ourselves, and when it comes to dating that’s a different story. At times the best option is just not responding to the messages or calls and in hopes they will get the clue. The older people get you’d think that their mature enough to have an honest adult conversation.

 

Everyone has their own personal story of being ghosted, and here is mine. I met this guy in April of 2015, but I didn’t start hanging out with him until that summer.  During summer 2015, we both had our own issues to deal with and nothing progressed that year.  Even though we didn’t see each other for about ten months from time to time  I initiated communication, and texted him to see how he was doing.   Everything changed this year at a friend’s graduation party in May.  We both crossed paths once more and I took advantage of it.  As previous history between us taught me is that things never ended how I wanted, but I took the risk once more.  I was just happy to get one more opportunity.  He was my summer, and all I wanted. Then fall came along and things were about to change, and I wasn’t ready but then again no one can really be prepared to be ghosted.

 

On a Sunday night I text him about a concert he said yes to months prior, but I got no answer.  I made nothing of it. A couple days later I send another text message and get no response once more. I made excuses as to why he wasn’t responding. The reality of it is he has the option to ignore me, and he did.  The hardest part of being ghosted is the unanswered questions. I’ve dated guys who weren’t interested anymore, but I’d get my closure.  In this case I still don’t know what went wrong, but none of that is relevant anymore. When someone decides to ghost you it says more about their character than yours.

 

If you’ve gone through something like this I understand it can be difficult to get a grasp of the situation.  You question yourself and why this person didn’t care enough of about you or why they act like you never existed in their life. Why this person didn’t at least have the decency to call or text to let you know this wasn’t going to work anymore. What I realized is not to make it this personal problem.  This is not my fault, and this isn’t your fault either.  If they were willing to ignore you, and make you feel this way then that person didn’t have your best interest in mind. You don’t need that type of person in your life.

The next step is moving on. I always look at the brightside of situations and focus on the people who appreciate me.    If he ever ends up reading this article, I just want you to know that I hope no one ever does this to you, and you never do this again to anyone else.

 

 

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