Photo by Kate Opre
Nobody tells you that losing a friend is just as painful as losing a lover. Nobody tells you how painful it is to lose someone you thought you would have forever. How can someone who has been such a significant part of your life all of a sudden become a stranger? Although I don’t have the answer to that question, I can tell you one thing: it fucking sucks.
But I knew. I knew that this was bound to happen. The pointless bickering, the 2 a.m. arguments, the stubbornness, the hanging up on each other, and the days gone by not talking to you. We knew that we were heading in different directions. We weren’t the same anymore. I could feel it. I could feel it in the way you spoke to me. In the way you looked at me. I could feel it when I didn’t bother to call or text you back anymore. I could feel it when you said sorry just to say sorry. The connection was lost. We were already drifting. It was only a matter of time.
We were tired. We were tired of the constant back and forth.
You used to chase after me, but you stopped running.
You used to make sure I was okay, but you stopped caring.
You used to call when I was upset, but you stopped calling.
You were the first person I wanted to tell everything to, but I stopped talking.
You were the person I was able to be myself with, but I started shutting you out.
You were the person I was most comfortable with, but I was now uncomfortable.
I became scared. I was scared that our relationship would become work, and it did.
You know I fought for our relationship, I really did. But I learned that I couldn’t be
the only one fighting and I can’t sit here and wait for the respect that I deserve.
To those who know how it feels, I want you to understand something. We can only give so much of ourselves to people. Our love is not for everyone. We need to stop giving the best of ourselves to the worst of people. There are people out there who don’t deserve our best. We don’t deserve someone’s half-hearted love. We have so much to offer, so much to give. You have to promise to only give your best to the people who have taken the time to prove that they deserve it. Those are the people who will appreciate your best.
Don’t let people make you feel like there is something wrong with you because of how expressive you are, because of how much you give, because of how much you care, because of how passionate you are, and because of how much you feel.
We come into people’s lives and form meaningful relationships that sometimes turn out to be meaningless. We come into people’s lives and show them a whole new way of living. We change their attitude. We change their perspective. We change the way they think. We help them see their potential. We show them how there is so much more to life than what they only knew. We teach them how to love harder, how to care more, and how to feel deeper. We pull them out of their ruts. We show them the sun where they once saw clouds. We restore their faith and hope. We show them that their dreams are achievable. And we bring them into our lives thinking they will be there forever.
It’s ridiculous. People say to move on and forget. But how could we easily forget the betrayal, the hurt, and the pain that people who once meant everything to us caused us? No one who has hurt you, betrayed you, or has never apologized for the pain they caused you is worth your mental health or a place in your heart. Even the best people with the most genuine intentions get tired of waiting for what they deserve. We are over it. We are tired of being messed with, being hurt, and being used. Why is it that people always end up taking the “oh so caring” person for granted? The only thing I can tell you to do is let it hurt. Let that fucker sting. Let it
hurt until it can’t possibly hurt anymore.
And understand this: You are no longer part of their life and they are no longer part
of yours. And this is okay. You are okay.