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The Independence in Being Single

April 12, 2017

Photo by @melodyasgari via Twenty20 

 

At my age my mother was married and had two children. When I was younger I thought at the age of 25 I would be married and have a family. Oh, was I so wrong. It doesn’t get any easier the older you get. I have aunts who constantly ask me at family parties where my boyfriend is or when am I getting married. My answer as always: “He doesn’t exist, and I’m never getting married.” The truth is, I’m not concerned about having a boyfriend or getting married at this moment. Family pressure of finding a partner does get annoying, but I keep in mind that this is my life and I will do what makes me happy first. The single life is the best choice I can make at this moment.

 

Growing up with three older brothers is a blessing because they gave me valuable advice when it came to being single. I don’t need a man to understand my worth. These three men taught me to value myself, and put myself first. They put an emphasis on getting my education. I don’t need a man to make my dreams come true. Having this type of mentality has gotten me through my life. I can say I am strong because they installed values in me that will benefit my future. I know at times they joke about guys I dated in the past because they know I deserved better.  

 

When it comes to being single there can be a stigma attached to it. People start to come up with reasons as to why you’re single; you can’t get a significant other or you’re too picky or you’re too selfish. The single life is a personal choice, and you don’t owe anyone an answer. Most people in their twenties are still in college getting their degrees. I’m in my mid-twenties and I’m still finding myself every single day. I believe it’s best to work on my own craft first, and better myself before I bring a new person into my own madness. Being single doesn't mean you’re lonely, and I think that’s the biggest misconception of being single. The truth is, you can be in a relationship but still feel lonely.  

 

I understand you might be in your twenties and going through the trials and tribulations of dating. Society is telling you that having a partner brings a purpose to your life, but never let that bring you down. The best thing I’ve learned about being single is to depend on myself. I am my own best friend. I can go out to lunch by myself and not care about sitting at a table with no one next to me. I don’t have to worry about making sure I let my significant other know my whereabouts. I can freely talk and hangout with whomever I please. I can’t sit here and tell you that I will pass a good person. When the right person comes along I will be ready for them because I’ve learned to be independent.

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