Breaking the "Lady-like" Mold

May 23, 2017

Photo by Nesrin Danan | @blackprints on Instagram 


The older I get the more comfortable I am as a person. In many of my articles I tend to mention the fact that I grew up with three brothers, and have adopted their mannerisms and characteristics. I have no shame about this because it’s part of who I am. Growing up, I never had a problem being a tomboy. I grew up with males, and watching sports. Now that I am 25 years old, I’ve come across people who have told me that I need to act more lady-like, which catches me off guard. I am not the "normal" woman. I am honest about my opinions, I have a sailor’s mouth, and at times it gets me in trouble, because according to society it’s not appropriate for women to speak in that manner. I don’t get offended easily, because growing up with males I’ve learned to grow thick skin. Especially when it comes to jokes, I've learned to defend myself. I can take a joke and also dish one out.


The world is a melting pot of double standards, and these standards will never go away. Just because these double standards are here, it doesn’t mean you must follow in their footsteps. Breaking stereotypes and boundaries makes me comfortable with the person I have become. One of the many standards is the notion that a woman must respect her body and her sexuality. It’s 2017, and I think it’s ridiculous that women are still being body-shamed. A woman is treated like trash or made to feel like she is worthless when she is far from worthless. As long as she protects herself, and comes to agreement with her own standards, I believe it’s a woman's choice at the end of the day. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is if a man shames you for your past sexual partners, then this man isn’t for you.   


“Watch your language because cursing doesn’t make you look pretty.” I’m not here to be pretty, I am here to be myself. I understand cursing does offend many people, but they just need to deal with it. I curse around my friends or family, but in a joking manner. Cursing is just a natural reaction to me. With everything in life there’s a time and place, and I know my boundaries. Not being lady-like is never something to be ashamed about, and it comes with perks. For one, you aren’t afraid to speak your mind. You are a strong-willed individual.

However, even though I don't always follow the expected lady-like behavior, I still have a feminine side. I love to shop and get dolled up for a night out with my best friends. I love the fact that I can freely express myself, and not be ashamed of cursing or getting drunk at times. I grew up with a set of rules that as a woman I must follow to be considered a lady. I can tell you now that I’ve broken most or even all these standards, but because I decided to live differently doesn’t mean I don’t respect myself. I respect myself enough to go against the current.

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January 17, 2019

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© Copyright 2018 Giselle Melendres - Mad Sounds Magazine

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